So we celebrated 6 years of marriage recently, yay! And being the blogger that I am, I simply must document my thoughts and learnings to encourage someone. Here are 6 of my many reflections. Enjoy and be sure to read my other articles-links below.
- There’s no sure-fire way to a good marriage. I see people with all the elements of a good marriage crossed out on the famous checklist, some even follow the rules but who still fall apart. And there are some with more issues than you would never believe who still thrive. Others with fewer issues crash and burn in months. Each one of us is broken in one way or another. You can only do your part, depend on God and keep it going and if you’re blessed enjoy the ride. I mentioned this in my article last year. Link here to read it http://lifestylehues.com/5-things-ive-learnt-in-our-5-years-of-marriage/ A good marriage is from the Lord!
- You know how, in business, you talk about your “why”? Well you need to be clear about it in marriage as well because many times in your journey, you will wonder how and WHY you married this man or woman. You will ask yourself “what was I thinking”? What’s your why? Love is good, but is he or she an intrinsically good person? And this is not a question of whether he or she is born again. I mean inherently good? Does he or she make you better? Does he or she complement you i.e. is he good at the things you need work on in life, is he or she the strength to your weaknesses? Do you share the same values? You need to. What’s your why? Remind yourself of it and meditate on it, it’s there somewhere, hopefully. It’s your reminder on the tough days in business and in marriage. If you are single even better, you are in a great position to figure things out before you commit to that person.
- Best to marry someone fulfilling destiny and clear about vision. The person is happier, more fulfilled and with time, the finances will align. Just take it from me, marry someone who is sure of his purpose and walking in it and leading a meaningful, your life will have more definition. Imagine someone hopping from one career path to another, how destabilizing that would be for your family, the almighty finances and more. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who is walking is in his or her own “magic” and making you proud? There’s no way, someone will walk in his or her purpose and not make you proud with time. It’s something I thank God for often.
- Be thankful for what you have. The 80/20rule in marriage and relationships is alive and well. Be thankful for all the good in your spouse, trust me, the other person you think is better doesn’t possess the virtues your spouse has. Don’t wait till divorce to learn that. I was reading someone that a divorcée stated in retrospect, that she thought the problems she had in marriage were because of her ex, it took divorce to help this individual know those problems were simply not because of him but were from internal battles.
- There will be days you’ll be genuinely lost and disconnected from your spouse. It’s part of the journey, not always the end of the road. Life is in cycles. Figure out your current cycle and work through it.
- Marriage will try you but its’ so much easier when you are married to your friend. Yes, I know I said it in my article last year, it still holds true. You can talk and even quarrel as friends when things get rough and they do from time to time. Physical intimacy will not always been there for you. Children will get in the way, so will work, finances and many other obligations. This same friendship will make the ride easier.
If you are single and reading this. I would suggest you read this old article of mine on the reasons why being single is a great thing on your way to marraige. Link here http://lifestylehues.com/3-reasons-single-status-great-place/
Please share your comments with me, Would love to hear from you.