My evening with Tara Fela Durotoye and other power women… key highlights in case you missed it

As you may have gathered from following this blog, I love events. But you see, not just any event will do, in fact I can be lazy about attending events. My friends know they really can’t count on me to attend the parties and events they invite me to. The catch is usually, what value is this event going to add to my life? Or what value is my presence going to add? If there’s no solid answer to that question, I’m a “no show”.

Anyway, the Tara Fela Durotoye (An Evening with Power Women) event last Thursday was not one I was going to miss. As a young entrepreneur, my networking skills have taken flight and I am always on the look out for a chance to meet potential clients, destiny helpers and those I can help as well.

It was an evening to celebrate one of Nigeria’s most respected make up artists and entrepreneurs – her life, friendships, marriage and career. The icing on the cake for me was Mrs Ibukun Awosika’s presence. She’s the current Chairman of the First Bank of Nigeria and a captain of industry. On top of that, she’s an anointed woman of God. Also, speakers included Ty Bello and Tara’s husband, Fela.

For most of the event, I was prancing around meeting amazing women and catching up with old friends and almost –friends but I would like to share bite-sized nuggets from the incredible wisdom and inspiration shared at this dinner:

On friendships

  • Build friendships in which you have a covenant relationship of prayer and fellowship with God. From just listening to the story of Tara and Ty Bello and their friendship from their teens, my submission is this: Friends that pray and serve God together grow together.
  • Ensure  you’re inspiring and not oppressing your friends especially when you are doing well.
  • TY Bello used to do make up as well and so they would take on jobs together, with time, TY found photography to be something she was even better at. Even where you have friends in the exact same business as you, ask God why and let them ”ginger you” to dig for more within yourself.
  • Ty Bello recounted how she would sleep over at Tara’s home just so she could a book Tara owned but she could not afford.Don’t be jealous, enjoy what your friends have with them on your way to your own success.
  • Your Relationships need to help you fulfill your purpose.Your friends should inspire you… You need to know what every relationship is for.
  • Whatever you think is what you think, mind-sets are strong holds and you attract great friends of you  think it but if you think people are not trustworthy, that is what you will attract.
  • We lose great friends because we seek perfection and we let them go when we have disagreement. This should not be so. No one is perfect and we need to learn to forgive.
  • We also need to be discerning to let people go graciously if and when the time comes.

On being a Mentee,

  • A mentor provides guidance, opens doors for you in places you’ve never been, See things ahead of you etc.
  • As mentees, to get the best out of our mentors, we need:
    • Relationship Management with mentor and with their family.
    • Even with access, show respect for that relationship and for confidentiality.
    • Share Value for value- whenever you get a chance to offer value to your mentor, grab it!
  • How you handle things as a mentee makes the mentor want to do more.
  • When they see your seriousness and the fact that you’re doing all you can to focus and get results. When you ask for help, you’ll get it.
  • Show respect to those ahead of you, even in the way you address them, especially in this environment

As a Mentor,

  • You can become a problem if the spouse of your mentee does not approve of the mentoring process, ensure they are carried along.
  • Whatever you do, especially as a mentor-at –large or a notable public figure, you have an audience. You perpetually have a stage. People are watching your every move. Everyone has their own audience which puts you in a place of responsibility. You need to be conscious… you have an effect on people. The way you conduct yourself is a responsibility. Everything ultimately has a multiplier effect.

On Marriage

  • Show love to your spouse, especially in a way they want.
  • Women need to “train” their men to love them the way they want to be loved. I recall Tara sharing how she drops hints of what she would like for her birthday before the date so he can plan.
  • Value alignment remains critical before marriage
  • Mindset is everything, you attract what you think of the opposite sex.

What was said was only a fraction of the event for me, one thing I always take out from an event is the experience…how it makes me feel. What I perceived was the fact that there are women living  every imaginable dream including those similar to yours or the one you think impossible. These gatherings are living, breathing  reminders that  there’s no reason not to follow your dreams. They remind me to pick myself up and keep going in the direction of my dreams. Successful entrepreneurs were represented there, so were fast rising employees of various corporations, artists, singers, actors and more. The principles of interaction were the same… success has many friends and when you succeed, you inspire others to do the same.

These were what I could grab before I went back to prancing…. additional nuggets anyone? Please drop them in the comments section.

Love,

Ayodotun

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